The oldest known connection of Saint Valentine’s Day with the theme of romantic love is dated back to the 14th century, and commonly attributed to the English poet Chaucer. By the late 18th century, the tradition had become so widespread that entrepreneurs started selling pre-written poetry for inarticulate young men, with Charles Dickens later coining the phrase, “Cupid’s Manufactory,” to describe the explosive growth of the industry. Recent statistics show that the average American spends over $100 on the holiday, with over one billion Valentine’s cards exchanged in the United States annually.
Sometimes I wonder how St. Valentino would feel about how we celebrate the anniversary of his persecution, execution, and burial. If it were me, after some disbelief and confusion I might be pleased to find out that people remember my name more than a millennia after my death, and that for the most part, the idea is that people are supposed to express that they like each other. Of course the worry is that all of the commercialization has led to the commoditization of the expression of love, but I think we understand deep down that dollars hold little value in the expression of real appreciation.
Instead, through our teachings and experiences, we learn that the real currencies of love are patience, kindness, humility, respect, and generosity. We feel love when we are protected and cherished, and we express love by sharing our hopes and giving our trust, forgiveness, and perseverance. We can’t possibly hope to fit all of these dimensions of love into a greeting card or a box of chocolates, but it’s precisely the hugeness of what it means to love and be loved that makes these gestures worthwhile. If we are to ever live up to this ideal of love in our limited human capacities, our only choice is to try to do it in little bits as often as we can.
This year, I’ll be grateful for a day that gives me the opportunity to do something special for friends and loved ones, while being mindful of the remaining 27 opportunities the month gives me to practice loving and being loved.